I like Metta meditation
Hello, friends!
This week’s edition of Things I Like is about a practice that has been on my mind a lot lately: Metta meditation, also known as loving-kindness meditation. February can be a weird month—gray skies, fading New Year’s energy, and a collective lull before spring. It’s a time when warmth, in any form, feels especially important. And Metta meditation is exactly that: a practice of generating warmth, compassion, and goodwill, both for ourselves and for others.
What Is Metta Meditation?
Metta, which means loving-kindness in Pali, is a type of meditation that focuses on cultivating feelings of goodwill and compassion. Unlike mindfulness meditation, which emphasizes awareness of the present moment, Metta meditation actively encourages us to direct kindness—first to ourselves, then outward to others.
The practice usually follows a simple structure:
1. Start with Yourself: Silently repeat phrases like “May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I be safe. May I be at peace.”
2. Extend to a Loved One: Picture someone you care about and offer them the same wishes.
3. Expand to a Neutral Person: Think of someone you don’t know well but feel neutral about (like a barista or a coworker).
4. Include Someone Difficult: This is where it gets challenging—sending kindness to someone you struggle with.
5. Encompass All Beings: Finally, you extend loving-kindness to everyone, everywhere.
Why I Like It
I first encountered Metta meditation in the context of mindfulness, but it didn’t really click for me at first. Wishing “May I be happy” over and over felt a little… odd. But over time, I realized that the practice isn’t about forcing yourself to feel something right away—it’s about training the mind to be more open, compassionate, and less reactive.
What I love most is how it shifts perspective. It’s easy to get stuck in our own heads, dwelling on stress, resentment, or frustration. Metta meditation is a way of softening those edges, reminding us that we’re all just people trying to find our way. And while it doesn’t magically erase difficult emotions, it does help loosen their grip.
The Challenge of Offering Kindness
One of the hardest parts of Metta meditation is offering kindness to ourselves. It’s often easier to extend goodwill to a friend than to say, “May I be happy” without feeling self-critical. That’s part of why this practice is so powerful—it gently asks us to confront the ways we withhold compassion from ourselves.
The other challenge? The "difficult person" step. It doesn’t mean excusing harm or forcing forgiveness, but rather acknowledging that holding onto anger is its own burden. Even a moment of goodwill in that direction can create space for emotional release.
How It’s Been Helping Me Lately
With February’s slump settling in, I’ve found myself returning to Metta meditation more often. It’s been a way to check in with myself, to stay connected to the people I care about, and to shift my mindset when everything starts feeling a little stagnant. It’s also a good reminder that kindness—toward ourselves and others—isn’t just a reaction; it’s a practice.
Conclusion
Metta meditation isn’t about forcing love and light on a bad day. It’s about making space for kindness, even when it feels difficult. It’s about recognizing our shared humanity and choosing, in small ways, to soften instead of harden. Thanks for joining me this week in Things I Like. Until next time, remember: know yourself, love yourself, and maybe send a little loving-kindness out into the world.
